Here we are on day 10. I have felt so much better today. Today was pretty uneventful, 5 mins HIIT cardio, 17 minutes yoga, did my 20+ empowered listening, cooked, worked, worked on my essays… I was bored a bit lol. By the way, that’s me as a cat. Right? Right? Okay, maybe it isn’t…
Let’s just get into it, yea?
Eating & Exercise:
I did my work out, had toast, a side salad, coffee, water, 1 taco, and stir-fry(chicken). The stir-fry was home made from scratch if you must know, with a miso sauce.
It helps to know that I think Yoga feels both amazing and incredibly painful at the same time. But it has been pretty useful! I mean, really helping my pain levels.
I also think the dude in the apartment across from me was watching me for a little while there. I know I look strange, you don’t need to stare! HA!
My Pain Levels:
Today? Much better, more manageable. I didn’t have to take any pain medication today, and I have been able to go most of my day without a headache, in fact I am only now just starting to get one.
But I think the headache is just allergies.
Emotional and Mental Health:
Today I was level headed. I felt good, I felt in control, and I felt happy. I was a bit bored today but I didn’t find my mind wandering into negativity. It’s been a really good day, and I am hopeful that this will continue on in to tomorrow.
My depression and my anxiety have both been easier to manage as well.
I realized something a bit earlier today. As I become more in control of my life, as I take responsibility for my life and for everything in my life, I am starting to see people who are holding me back more plainly. I know that for me to succeed I must be among like-minded individuals or be alone.
My significant other has my back, 100% of the way, and together we are going to pave a bath to our own personal victory. Our goals are aligned not because they should be but because we both want similar things in life. One of the many reasons we are good for one another.
Though some of the people I have associated with in the past, or that I come across on social media are making it more and more apparent that they are not worth my time. Nor my energy.
I find myself less and less connected to the little happy ping of notifications, and more involved in my life. I go to school, I work, and I spend time with my family.
I go to bed on time, I wake up on time, and I am productively working my way through my schedule and my to-do list.
It had become a routine to follow what I need to do, rather than what is habitual for me to do. My new habit is following my to-do list. Even if I don’t finish everything, which I normally do, it’s about the little victories of finishing things and crossing them off that I have taken as moments of happiness throughout my day.
My partner and I have always had a healthy relationship, but I think things are even better now, because I am not being led around on a leash by my mental health issues.
I wrote this on my Facebook timeline today, as a way to share, and I want to share it here as well, because it is good advice. If you find yourself in a place in life that you aren’t moving forward maybe this will help open your eyes to what you might be doing wrong:
“If you are over the age of 19, you are now personally responsible for your actions, and the cause of those actions. Think before you speak, think before you act. Act like an adult and don’t be an asshole just because you don’t care what anyone thinks. Believe it or not if you want to have success in your life, ostracizing people and acting like a childish rebel isn’t going to get you ahead in life. It will result in those who matter not taking you seriously. It will result in a lesser opinion of you being placed upon you.
“Yes, it’s true the opinion of yourself should rule above the opinions of others. But keep in mind that it is also true that what you believe about yourself is who you will become or always be. So, if you want to succeed. If you want to be successful, if you want to be more than what you are right now. You can’t act like a child, you can’t allow your prejudice or poorly educated opinions be who you are.
The choice is yours. Choose wisely.”
I really believe in these words. I mean them. If you want success you can no longer speak before thinking. If you can’t go into a crowd and scream something, you very well should not tweet it or post it on your Facebook. Look, it is YOUR WALL. Yes. But if you have more than just friends and a few close colleagues on your Facebook and it’s locked down tighter than a bank vault, keep your thoughts to yourself.
I don’t think negatively of these people, but I do think the advice I am giving is solid. It’s important to grow up. It’s important to keep moving upward and reach past what people may expect from us.
A few years ago, I would of told myself now to stuff it. I was more rebellious and careless then. And that’s okay, what matters is I am who I am now.
As tomorrow breaks (it’s 12AM), and I need to get to bed, I leave with the thoughts of the future. I haven’t shared a lot of my goals because they are for me. I don’t need people to see what I am working toward, it’s for me. Even this blog is really for me, isn’t it? In some selfish way, it’s for the young guy or gal, or non-specified individual out there who hasn’t decided who they are yet, who is still wading through the world haplessly.
It’s for those who are late bloomers, like I am. We’re not out of the race yet, so don’t let the world count you out.
YouTube: Fantasy & Coffee