Day 12. I worry I may get too cocky if I don’t have a mixture of good and bad days. Stay humble, I tell myself this every day. My family is going through a hard time right now, but I try to remember these words, ” This experience that I’m having didn’t come to stay! It came to pass!” These words were made famous by The Martins in a popular song, but they come from the wise words of a Religious Philosopher Eric Butterworth. I am not a religiously devout man, but I am a man of words. When I look at these words and I look at my situation, I am dutifully reminded that this too shall pass.
I feel impatient, don’t we all from time to time? I want my life to be better now. I have worked so hard my whole life but never in one direction. I have zig-zagged my way through life and now… I am nowhere but lateral.
I was asked today by a friend, “If you could go back and talk to your younger self, what would you say?” And honestly, absolutely honestly, I said, “I would tell myself to buck up. To stop blaming external sources for my problems, and the choices I have made in my life. To get my head on straight and start doing right.” And I mean it, I wish I could tell myself to pull it together, to start working toward my goals and not what others thought my goals should be. If I hadn’t zig-zagged, where could I be right now? I likely wouldn’t know, even if someone could tell me.
I’m happy, don’t get me wrong. I could just do without the stress. All I want is some semblance of comfort, even a little, I don’t want survival to be living beyond my means. It’s terrible I know, I’m complaining. Who can change this life but me? You’re right. You are. Only I have the power to make changes to my life. Every choice I make, that changes my life.
So right now, I am digging my way out of a bad situation and slowly trying to pull myself up. There is so much going on, that being disabled is just the icing on the cake – right?
So, what are the right choices? Moving forward, and never stopping – that’s all. Just keep moving, keep going forward and upward. “Reach for the moon, and if you don’t make it, at least you will land among the stars…” (Les Brown, Motivational speaker and Politician)
I believe in the power of good energy. I believe what you put out in this world you will get. All I can do is keep doing good, working hard, and giving it all I’ve got.
Let’s get into the grit;
Eating & Exercise:
I had cake today, my nephew’s birthday is coming up and his dad’s just past so we had chocolate cake, and milk. Otherwise I had a two veggie tacos and chicken and broccoli for dinner.
I walked for 20 minutes, but that was it for exercise. I spent 6 hours today working on my final project for one of my classes, two more weeks until the term is over… Hopefully I did well, I am pretty sure I did well.
My pain levels:
Eh, so-so. I woke up feeling terrible, and I’ve had a headache all day. Mostly I have been dealing with stomach issues…not sure what is going on. I have resigned myself to the belief that the better eating (overall) and the exercise is overwhelming my digestive system. Ha! Who knows.
Mental and Emotional Health:
Did I mention how great my mood has been? It’s so much easier to deal with myself – I mean the first few days I was better, but I am way better now. Less snippy, more understanding, and I’m no longer waiting for anyone else’s permission to do things – that’s a long story to get into, let’s just leave it at “has improved this behavior” for now.
Reflection & Going Forward:
I am still working on building my creativity, and working on my sleep patterns. I am happy for the weekend, because school has been running me ragged. I think I need some time with a good book, and some R&R this weekend. Which I can do because I am so far ahead on work related stuff! So, yay for that.
I am happy going forward knowing I have what I need to succeed, but right now I need to work on getting my family stable as well.
YouTube Channel: Fantasy & Coffee